There are a few key components to help guide your conversations. Mindful listening is the first component of validation.This means you really pay attention to what your partner is saying.If we want to heal we must REPARENT ourselves by validating ourselves instead of repeating the abuse that we received while our hearts were innocent and vulnerable... this article by Darlene at Emerging from Broken on Self Validation for Emotional Healing from Abuse A sensitive child who is repeatedly invalidated becomes confused and begins to distrust his own emotions. The deeper component has more to do with you do together. Consistent, thoughtful validation of your partner's thoughts and feelings is the best thing you can do for your relationship. ), they aren't necessarily the strongest ways to connect with your loved one.His emotional responses, emotional management, and emotional development will likely be seriously, and perhaps permanently, impaired.
Our true selves, our personal truth was not validated... Your partner found it entertaining and funny, while you found it boring and predictable. And it can make all the difference in your relationship.You might validate their point of view by saying, "It sounds like you really enjoyed the film. If your partner presents a problem or difficult situation to you, try to find out more about how they are feeling and what they want by asking open-ended questions. This means you acknowledge what they've said or what they are feeling.
You might say, "I can see you're upset about this," or "You seem discouraged" in response to their news about having to work over the weekend. An important distinction is that you can accept your partner's feelings, but it doesn't mean you need to agree with them. Use validating statements such as, "I would feel that way, too," or "It makes sense to me that you'd feel that way given the circumstances" to let them know you see why they feel the way they do.He fails to develop confidence in and healthy use of his emotional brain-- one of nature's most basic survival tools.